This past Saturday, I really struggled with depression and keeping my head above water. We had just attended yet another funeral where addiction claimed another life. Lately I have posted about my momma who passed away at age 57 due to the grips of addiction and depression and I lost my sister at age 34 in 2016 for the same thing.
At this past funeral, I became overwhelmed at just how BIG addiction is in our world today and I felt so small. I’m a recovering fixer of all problems (ha!) and the death of my momma and sister cured me of that very muddy perception of my capabilities. Hey! I thought if I wanted it bad enough, the problem would just go away. But after the death of momma and my sister, I no longer fool myself into thinking I can fix a darn thing.
I want so desperately to help people who have been affected by these things but, during a funeral, you realize just how little you have to offer someone when they are in the depths of grief. Even if you can totally understand their pain, they can’t receive from you in that place. I want to help carry burdens.
So, I came home from that funeral feeling pretty helpless and overwhelmed. Most likely because I fell back to my old ways of wanting to fix it but I can’t.
I sat and thought about the people in my life that are still struggling with addiction…some people are struggling so bad that I’m not sure how much longer they will be here on this earth.
In my mind, I’m thinking as other family and friends die, maybe, just maybe, they will learn…but they don’t. I had my season in addiction. You can’t tell us anything. We know everything when we are three sheets in the wind or so drugged up we can’t put two sentences together.
I hate addiction.
Then let’s throw in the Coronavirus and how much that is affecting our world…and the flu…
And then the news report I came across of the horrific tornado that ripped through Tennessee and devastated many lives including this young couple who was just starting out with their toddler…all of them…just gone.
As you can see, what I was beholding in my mind was dark and I started asking questions like “Why are we here?” “What am I doing?” “It’s too much God!” “What’s it all for?”
My life is to glorify God in everything I do and say. Saturday night, I went to bed thinking…I don’t know how to glorify you God…you are gonna have to show me. How am I supposed to help people?
Just being real with you sweet peeps.
I’m a Christian and a life coach that helps people but, make no mistake, that doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days, weeks or months.
Sunday…I simply didn’t want to go to church. I was still carrying my Saturday night attitude over into Sunday…”What’s the point?”
I decided to go to church “by faith.”
Then, this well-spoken gentleman got up to share a few things with us. He actually knew people who had been affected by the Tennessee tornados and he told several stories of people who were protecting their families as it raged through their neighborhoods and literally sucked people out of windows, even a child right out of a momma’s arms. A man who threw his body over his family and was sucked right off of them and out the window.
Both of these individuals were found miles away wandering around in fields, confused but okay. A miracle. The precious little snackcake lost his family but God spared his life and the man was reunited with his family.
He told of the community that has come together to help meet needs and love on one another. Offering hope. He reminded us of the many opportunities we have on a daily basis to offer hope.
My eyes were so filled with tears because I knew I was hearing from God.
He was answering all my questions.
Why are we here? ………………………. To offer hope.
What am I doing? …………………………Offering hope.
What’s it all for?……………………………….. Hope in Christ
What’s the point?…………………………….. Hope
God’s answer to all my questions were:
Offer Me, precious daughter
That is how you glorify me.
Question for you sweet peeps…What do you think offering hope looks like? I truly would love to hear from you and I’m most certain that others would too!