It’s no big deal. I’m a communicator and that is how we communicate in today’s world. It’s innocent. Everybody is doing it. It’s so much better than talking on the phone.
In my case, everyone knew I was doing it. It wasn’t that big of a deal to get a text from my pastor or for him to get a text from me. After all, I worked with him daily. I was a leader in the church. I needed him. He needed me. We had a great relationship. We laughed with our families over the texts we would send to each other. Sometimes it was just a “look what I’m eating and you’re not” text!
I loved it. If the pastor is texting me…then I must really be something. I’m totally somebody important. Sigh.
Truth is, at first it WAS innocent. At first, it was just about work. At first, it was just a relationship with my brother in Christ. But somewhere…not sure where…I think it took years to get there…but somewhere…I started to NEED to hear from him. My day could be made or broken if I didn’t hear from him. And it went unchecked. Everything started to become muddy.
I didn’t mean for it to…but the door was left wide open…as the years went by…something as small as a text became the doorway to adultery. Breaks my heart. I look back and I see things that should never have been allowed to happen.
The other day, I needed an answer to a quick question from a male. I’m very sensitive to doing that directly anymore. So I called the wife. She was unavailable. I really needed the question answered because I was headed to a meeting and needed the answer for that meeting. So I texted the question to the male and got a quick answer back.
Totally innocent…truly…but I just couldn’t shake the conviction of what I felt as I remembered how my affair started. I called my husband and confessed and then texted the wife later that day. I even went as far as sending her a screenshot of the conversation.
Yes, it was innocent. Yes, it was just a text. But texting can change your life. It changed mine. I don’t want to compromise myself ever again. I want to honor my relationships. I want to honor my husband. I especially want to honor my God.
When I, as a married woman, go outside of the covering of my husband and interact privately with other men, married or single, I open myself to the enemy.
I know there are lots of people that are saying…this is crazy. It can’t be done. It’s part of my job.
I am 100% sure that you know the ones you shouldn’t be talking to…if you get totally gut honest with yourself.
I would have thrown a royal fit if someone had told me that I couldn’t text my pastor anymore. And no one did. I’m really sorry about that. NO! I’m not blaming others for what I did…I take full responsibility. I’m just saying that there were things that were allowed that shouldn’t have been.
I’m having an intermittent conversation with a male friend on Facebook right now on private message…but when he talks to me…he is on his wife’s account. I love it. Makes me so happy because I know he chooses to interact with me in that way because he wants to honor his wife, his family, my husband, my family and our God. I love it so much!
Another way to communicate with the opposite sex is to copy your spouse on everything. This makes me feel safe.
My husband has to interact with women sometimes with his job and sometimes there is texting involved. We do not turn a blind eye to this. We are open and honest about who and what. I will even over-question him sometimes because I do not want the enemy to steal, kill and destroy.
I know there are some that will say I’m overreacting. I disagree. There are so many secret avenues available in today’s culture to do just about anything you want. But not all things are beneficial. And just because they are available to you doesn’t mean you have to use them.
If you are truly interested in living a transparent life that honors God…you will take desperate measures to protect yourself and your spouse. If you don’t think this applies to you…then maybe you are how I used to be…full of pride.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.